Moving Through The Fear

I have very, very severe dental phobia. It all began in childhood with an old country dentist. But my most recent adventure into dental surgery helped me move through some of this fear. My blood pressure was extremely high. High enough to cause severe damage if that were my normal blood pressure. After all the prep with cardiac leads, pulse ox on finger, blood pressure cuff attached, a nasal cannula was placed. I began to feel pretty happy with that. The doctor put in the i.v. and said he would just tie my arm down to the chair to keep me from pulling out the iv. That's the last thing I knew until the nurse called my name. Wow! No listening to the noises, no smells, no pressures, no seeing the needle approaching the mouth, Wow!

Of course, I had been warned by many people of all the things to watch out for. The nurse told CJE that she was amazed that I did not bleed very much. And that I went out really fast. Well, I haven't bled very much. Just a little bit in the beginning. I had a headache Friday afternoon that I think was due to the anesthesia. The only pain I have had is my TMJs were sore yesterday after I woke up. One Aleve took care of that. I have been taking very good care of myself, following instructions given, and I am doing so good with this.

Since I got sick in May, naps are my new friend. I have continued to nap with this surgery. But today is the first day in probably a month that I have some energy and feel like doing something. I lay in bed last night and thought about my indigo pot that is languishing on the deck and thought of things I want to dye. This is a good sign. My normal habit is to think of things when I am going to sleep. I haven't done this in a month.

Yesterday I spent a good portion of the day spinning the pink yarn. I love this stuff. It is a 50/50 blend I made up of some Romney wool I dyed and some faux cashmere that CJE and I dyed. It is spinning quite fast. The faux cashmere is not too slick, and it makes the whole thing so soft. I think it is quite a lovely mauve-y pink with shades to lavender.

Oh-speaking of lavender. Mine is blooming. I am going to try to capture it at just the right time to dry the flowers. I didn't do that last year and I missed the opportunity.

My front flower bed is loaded with yellow correopsis and blue bachelor buttons. I only had one daisy bloom, although it was a really large plant. Yarrows are blooming. I rescued some plants from the jungle on the hillside. This year I have a tall common day lily blooming, but it is the old fashioned kind. I also got a very tall iris from the hillside. Since I have been sick, I have not done the weeding I should do. Sigh!

We moved from wet and stormy and cool to very hot and dry July weather. It is most bizarre. I normally don't have the air conditioning on all the time, but the humidity keeps it on. I can't spin or knit if I am hot and sticky.

So slowly now I am getting better. I am ready to do more. I have ideas in my head that want to come out. I feel like I am moving forward a little bit. Thanks to all my friends that have been there for me .