This past week I have had to ride a roller coaster of emotions and deep down feelings about blood family, obligation to said family, and solutions to these rambling regurgitations of memories.
For the most part I have settled my Life to have my chosen family and my chosen circle of friends. I do talk to the older brother periodically. It is to assuage his feelings that he is the elder in the family and he should know what is going on. He knows me, but he doesn't know who I really am or what I really do.
So I found out that my younger brother has not been "doing well" through a Facebook message from his wife. Essentially this has been going on for a while, but he was getting worse. So she took him to the ER and they admitted him to the hospital. He had a stroke. At the discharge I found out this is his second stroke. The undiagnosed stroke evidently occurred 4 or 5 years ago when I questioned K. She said that was when he changed.
I will not go into the details of everything. It is too boring to talk about how to educate the spouse about the changes that occur with strokes. Luckily he did not have hemiplegia. I did assess his basic ADL's and he was able to dress, shower, brush his teeth, and shave with an electric razor. He tied his shoelaces. His greatest loss is cognitive. He has a flat expression on his face. I am not sure about his ability to read and comprehend. This brother was the brainiac in the family. He was reading Edgar Rice Burroughs at age 6.
So I visited with my former SIL AT one night. She is in a great depression since her husband's death last Fall. The next night I stayed with R and H and their two dogs. That was joyful and made me very happy to see their Life.
I essentially was comatose on Friday. I almost fell asleep in the lounge chair around three o'clock. I couldn't think. I just managed to be awake, eat, and then back to sleep. I tried to follow my normal routine.
Yesterday was a joyful day of seeing some friends from the weaving guild celebrate their first book signing. They researched coverlets, blankets and quilts in the archives of the Shiloh Museum in Springdale. They published a book through the museum. It took three years for the book to be birthed- that's including their time in research.
My friend CJE came over early, we ate lunch, and then we went to the museum to watch the opening. It was a fun day. I finally feel like I am back on schedule.
Noodles is happy to have his slave back to follow his feeding schedule. And to have someone open and close doors-even though he has the cat door. And to have someone to warm up his feet when he has been outside and he is cold.
The birds are ecstatic to have their feeders filled. I noticed that the cardinals are eating suet along with the woodpeckers. I guess egg laying is happening.
The weather has turned again to cold. It was strange to be in Little Rock in 87 degrees in March. Everything was in bloom, including the azaleas. I noticed as I drove down I-49 it was gray and wintry looking. There were pockets of white from the early bloomers. By the time I got to Ozark on I-40 things were greener. By the time I got to Clarksville it was green everywhere. It was such a difference than up here in the mountains.
My redbuds in the front are in full bloom. The ones in back are partially open. There was a Facebook memory posted today from 3 years ago. My redbuds were just showing pink and were still in tight bud. So we are early this year.
I am spinning the prettiest blue targhee yarn. It is a mixture of pale to dark blues and some golden yellow mixed in. It is making me happy to watch the colors develop.
My knitting is flagging. I am on the second sock for K. I just got the yarn I ordered for my friend O's socks. I think I am going to start knitting squares for a blanket. I don't want another sweater right now. I don't need another hat. I don't need another scarf. I am not motivated to do a lot.
I am binding the quilted table mat for H and R. I thought I would finish it while I was in Little Rock. I didn't. They are remodeling their kitchen. So this will be a little something for them.
I am getting interested in dyeing soon. As the warm weather approaches, my interest rises. I saw some pretty indigo dyed pieces on Facebook, and that gets me excited. It is almost time to dye. Come on warm weather.
So today I get back to walking. I have missed walking every day. I just couldn't do it the last two days. Today I feel as if I am almost recuperated from my discombobulating week. Surely my days will return to the same boring routine that I have established as my normal life.